Learning from my K-6 gr. teachers' mistakes...

Learning from my teachers' mistakes...

I think most teachers become teachers because they like kids and want to help them learn.  Teachers want to make a difference.  I would imagine that is how all seven of my elementary teachers (1982-1989) began.  I would imagine they sincerely liked kids and liked teaching at one point.  But, they made some mistakes.  As a student I felt some of those mistakes deeply.  There are certain things I do or don't do as a teacher now because of those mistakes.  I would never say that I became a teacher because I wanted to be a better teacher than my teachers had been.  I also would never say that I loved school as an elementary student.  I became a teacher because I love kids and I want them to love learning.  I love my "flock" of kids God gives me each year.  So, let me share some stories to help you see some of what shaped me into the teacher I am.
   I remember very little about kindergarten, other than dull plastic scissors and being "Bashful, the Dwarf" in a class play.  My teacher was very old, with white hair and we had a mobile classroom outside the regular school.  My teacher was not energetic.  She acted old.  Now I strive to be energetic as a teacher and I never want to act old. 
   My mom's first grade teacher did not understand the importance of a new box of crayons to a six year old.  Little Linda's name was called to come to the back of the room to meet with her teacher and as she got up, her brand new box of crayons fell to the floor, scattering everywhere.  Of course, she knelt down to gather them up.  Her teacher scolded her and demanded that she come.  Horrified, my mom felt so torn because she wanted to obey her teacher, but her new crayons couldn't be left on the floor!  I don't remember how that story ends, but I know that when my mom grew up and became a first grade teacher in the late 1960s, she had LOTS of patience for first graders who dropped things.  Now, I, as a second grade teacher help my students pick up things that fall, or I ask students around them to help.  I know I must be patient when things spill (and things spill A LOT).  I remind myself that kids are KIDS! 
   My first grade teacher yelled a lot.  That's about all I remember.  There was a naughty boy who wore a string necklace with a key at the end and she was always yelling at him.  She yelled at all of us.  I didn't talk in first grade.  I couldn't read in first grade.  First grade was very hard.  I didn't feel loved by my teacher.  I was afraid she would yell at me.  Now, I never yell.  I love.  I care.  I encourage my students to talk.  I help them learn to read.
   I had the most wonderful second grade teacher a girl could ever have!  She had a big smile and a nice laugh.  She was beautiful with dark hair and shiny eyes.  She was patient.  I remember doing art projects in her class.  I remember how she helped me set the goal to raise my hand once a day.  I remember knowing in my heart that she would never yell at me if I got something wrong.  I knew my teacher loved me and wanted me to talk in class.  Perhaps my teacher made a mistake or two that year, but I don't remember.  I remember the feeling I had in her classroom.  That made a big impression on me.
   Third grade was another story.  My homeroom teacher was a male.  He loved sports.  He didn't like me.  I know he didn't like me.  One time I sneezed and it make a loud spitting sound and he yelled at me.  Did he really not know me well enough to know that I wouldn't do a thing like that on purpose!?!  Another time he accused me of being mean to another girl on the playground.  He put us in the hallway until we could work things out.  He never listened to my side of the story.  He didn't like me.  He liked the popular girls.  He let kids be mean to me.  I was bullied, but he didn't care.  Sometimes we played dodgeball and the big boys would whip me with the balls.  My teacher didn't notice.  He didn't care.  He gave us two options of a movie to watch as a reward and one was my favorite "Pete's Dragon."  The other kids made fun of me for liking such a baby movie.  The teacher never stopped their taunting words.  He let them make fun.  That still floors me! 
     My math teacher in third grade was an impatient woman down the hall with thick glasses.  She had absolutely NO patience.  I didn't learn a thing in her class and she was always mad at me because I didn't "get" math.  She sent home hours of homework.  Mom can attest to this.  I would have around two hours of math homework every night in third grade.  Math was hard.  My teacher was incompetent and impatient. 
      So, what did I learn from my third grade teachers for my future as a second grade teacher?  Never yell at a kid for sneezing!  Listen to both sides of the story!  Don't favor the popular kids!  Watch to make sure kids are not being bullied and then do something about it!  If your student isn't getting math the way you have always taught it, find a new way to help her!  Don't get mad at kids for not getting something!  Two hours of homework a night is TOO MUCH!  There, I'm not bitter or anything, can you tell?  It doesn't get much better....
    Fourth grade, my teacher was the coach of the cheerleaders.  She had been a cheerleader.  She liked the girls that wanted to grow up to be cheerleaders.  She didn't like me.  Despite all that, I would say that fourth grade is the year I really took off in my reading.  Perhaps because when you read, you can escape to another place.  One of my favorite things to read were the big, white "Value" books about famous people like Johnny Appleseed, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Helen Keller.  We did a reading log and I was sooooo excited when I filled up my log.  I was so proud of myself for reading so many books.  What did my teacher say when I handed it in?..... "Yeah, well, you mostly read short books."  No words of encouragement, nothing.  That still boils me.  I was excited about my reading and she wasn't a cheerleader for me!  What did I learn?  Be a cheerleader for your students!  Be excited about reading!
   Fifth grade was the real doozy!  I have always had trouble with my hearing.  I have always done some lip reading.  My fifth grade teacher had an extremely quiet voice.  I honestly couldn't hear much of what she said.  And, she wouldn't repeat.  She would accuse me of not paying attention!  Didn't she know me at all?  What's with teachers accusing quiet, sweet little girls of things?!?!?!  It gets worse.  I absolutely LOVE apple slices with caramel.  LOVE!  So, fall of fifth grade my teacher gave us a party with that delectable treat and I went back for seconds (maybe even thirds).  Sometime in there she snapped my picture.  Later she put the picture on our wall with a caption reading, "Our chubby Jennifer stuffing her face!"  Wow.  That hurt.  That really hurt.  Didn't my teachers have feelings?  I'm not bitter!
    My fifth grade teacher also thought that kids could not listen to readalouds at their desks and draw at the same time.  Drawing was my release in fifth grade.  I drew funny little cartoons and I drew people with funny expressions.  I loved to draw.  And, I could listen to my teacher read a chapter book at the same time.  I definitely could.  But, she didn't believe me and I had to put my drawing notebook away.  Now, as a second grade teacher, when I read to my kids during snack time, they can draw or color when they are done eating.  I know they can listen.  Now as a teacher, I will repeat if a child couldn't hear me.  I even have a microphone system to help them hear me.  Now I try extra hard to make all my girls feel beautiful.  I don't just choose the cute, adorable girls to play the princesses and fairies in our plays, ANYONE can be a princess or a fairy!  All little girls are BEAUTIFUL!!
    What about sixth grade, you may ask?  Yes, Sixth grade was a good year too.  I thank God for my Mrs. Brueske from second grade and my Mrs. Christopherson from sixth grade.  Mrs. Christopherson had a big toothy smile and she would always brush her teeth after lunch.  I liked that.  I brush my teeth after lunch too.  She didn't let the bully boys pick on me.  She had fun ways to teach history.  We would play games and try to remember facts.  She let us do a fun lip sync video and I did "The Greatest Love of All" by Whitney Houston and "Just Another Manic Monday" by Cindy Lauper.  Gotta love the 1980s!  Mrs. Christopherson gave me an award for sixth grade graduation for being the "Biggest Bloomer" because I had grown so much in confidence and social skills in that one year.  I do believe that much of that was because of a good teacher!  I hope that as a teacher, my students are blooming each year too!
     Well, I hope this blog entry isn't seething with bitterness.  And, I hope that someday some writer isn't writing bitter tales about ME as his/her teacher.  We all make mistakes.  I make mistakes.  I beat myself up for mistakes I have made.  I constantly have to remind myself that I don't have to be perfect.  I am a teacher in order to love kids and help my kids love learning.  Perhaps I should be thankful for the mistakes my teachers made because it helped me be the sensitive teacher I am.  Perhaps.