"I write to find out what I'm thinking about." - author unknown
I used to have that quote on a piece of cardstock taped on my old Apple computer. I cut it out of a pamphlet from Concordia College's Writing Center. It had an author documented, but now that the cardstock cut-out is long gone, along with that large-floppy-disk-friendly computer, I can only remember the quote. That reminds me of how I can memorize Bible verses, but can never seem to remember the chapter or verse......(Hmm, "perhaps somewhere in one of Paul's letters?")!
As a child, I would write pages and pages of fiction stories about bunnies or girls like me. In junior high and high school I wrote for the school paper. I liked to create multiple choice quizzes under the title, "The Choice Is Yours!" The quizzes always had to do with silly things like what you would do if you stepped on an ant and knew the Ant Patrol saw you! When not creating humorous quizzes, I liked to interview people and turn the interviews into short articles. I wrote about Sara who loved cats and Corey who adored her Grandma and Helena who was adjusting to life in America as a foreign exchange student from Sweden. I wrote so many articles, that our newspaper advisor would call me his "Head Writer." I was asked to be the editor of the paper in the fall of my senior year of high school. I regret saying no. I had just agreed to edit the school yearbook, and looking back, I would have much preferred being the Newspaper Editor. But, as my mom would say, "You can't change it now!"
Besides my public writing projects, I wrote in my journals a large amount. There were definitely times when I just felt all mixed up inside and didn't know why. I would sit down and write pages and pages of "stuff" and pretty soon, as the quote above explains, I would figure out what I was thinking about. I would work through it in my writing. I would write until I found a better perspective or until I had set some new goals for myself. I always felt better after writing something out. Sometimes I wrote letters to someone - honest letters that I would never send. Sometimes I wrote letters to God - full of raw emotion and questions. A few times I wrote letters to pastors who had given sermons that morning that I disagreed with: "God Gets the Last Laugh" was not a good picture of the character of my compassionate, loving God! Then there was the sermon about Jesus writing people's sins in the sand - when Scholars have written about how NO ONE KNOWS what Jesus wrote in the sand that day and I believe the character of Jesus would never do such a thing! I could go on and on. Grandma Alber used to call me her little Theologian!
I also enjoy writing real letters that I do actually send. I've always had pen pals. I've always looked forward to getting the mail each afternoon. And, now I enjoy emails and facebook and blogs so much that I've become a bit of a "junkie!" But, it's all an art form - this way of expressing yourself with words. It's fun!
I write because it's fun. It fills up something in me that needs to be expressed. Writing is a part of who I am. I may not always be able to express myself in a conversation satisfactorily, but give me some time to write it all out and I've got clarity and confidence! I'm thankful God made me the way I am. And, I'm thankful for my MacBook that I can carry around and write to my heart's content. I know that some of my blogs never get read by anyone but my biggest fans - my parents, but I don't expect to have a huge following (like "The Pioneer Woman"). Perhaps one of my blogs at some point helps some person in some way and that makes it worth it.
